i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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