we have pet lesbian snakes
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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