So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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