just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
