you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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