I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
