where am i from again
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
