I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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