Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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