Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
