I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
