I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
