Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
