do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
