well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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