Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
