How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
