Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
