uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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