he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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