just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
