don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
