Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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