Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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