Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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