if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
40s are totally the cure
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
