i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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