It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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