The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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