Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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