I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
