There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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