if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
