That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Your penis caused this!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize