honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
