dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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