dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
