Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
