Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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