maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
