I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
