my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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