I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize