it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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