after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
