I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
