forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
