i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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