I smell stomach acid.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
