Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry lil_mis_sterious hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(+26): View more from

And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted

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(250): View more from British Columbia

When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?

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(720): View more from Colorado

Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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(714): View more from California

Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.

(206): View more from Washington

Definitely not.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.

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