So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
