I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
