I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
