you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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