do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
