did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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