Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
