he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it's like iHOP with fire
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
