Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she smelled like a LAN party
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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