She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
