So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
