She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
