Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
