WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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