My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
