i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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